twenty-four.

When I was pregnant with Sam,  Jasmine got a virus and she was throwing up. She only weighed 20 pounds. That’s less than my dog. The danger was dehydration. They said to take her to the hospital. She lay on a table while the nurse tried to find her tiny vein. I stood over her boob out shoving it in her mouth to take  away the pain. I lay with her all night in the bed. Tubes attached to her arm.
Chris brought me frozen yogurt. Sam slept in my womb. In the morning jasmine and I watched cartoons and ate Cheerios. When we got home it was Christmas. I gave her a pink velour onesie with a dog tail and ears on the hood. It said Fifi in fancy script.

– FLB

***

there weren’t any stuffed noses last night
no fevers
no nightsweats
no crying
no medicine
no fear
no extra hugs needed
no yelling at husband
no feelings of guilt
no feelings of failure
no anxiety
just warm breath
warm sheets
warm snuggles
on a cold night
with full bellies
and dreaming faces

– LB

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